this girl

this sweet little girl is up and walking.  i love this little one, so much.  she is my baby.  i never understood the whole "this is my baby" thing until she came into our lives.  now that i know we are not having any more little ones, not going to do the baby stage again, i feel that i understand that whole my baby mentality.

so, here we are at just two days shy of 15 months and she is up and moving.  at first it was six steps in our bedroom this morning.  i was so excited to see this that i yelled to the others and everyone came running into our bedroom, my husband with shaving cream still on his face.  then it was seven steps toward daddy.  we went to grandmas house for dinner and she was walking all over the place, every time with a huge smile on her adorable little face.

and there we have it, another milestone and first for Averie, and another last for us as parents. 

how very bittersweet it is.

real life wednesday {ramblings}

real life is taking place here today, as always.

baby girl is taking her morning nap.
clothes are being washed and dried.
dishes are piled up in the sink from breakfast.
Laine and her dolls are having a sleepover in the living room.
lunch will be made soon.
groceries need to be purchased.
my mind is reeling with thoughts, things that i wish were different, changes that i'd like to make happen.

that last item on the list, it seems lately that that is a common theme, one that i cannot shake.  don't get me wrong, i am thankful for this place that i am in, for this stage of my life, for this stage of life that we are in as a family.  but, i can't seem to shake a few things that play over and over again in my head. 

there are certain things that i would like to change about myself, habits that i'd like to change, new habits that i'd like to form.  often times i want to do something, know that whatever it may be is a good thing, but fail to follow through with it.  i often get into this funk and think that i can't really start anything new because i'm just not able to at this time and this stage of life.  i have other excuses that sound good to me as well, but really, they are probably just excuses.  i often don't feel that i have the freedom to do certain things for myself right now, go certain places, get into a new routine, or even fit anything new into our routine.  i have four children to care for every day (a huge blessing!), but that often leaves me feeling like there simply isn't any time for me.  between waking up, trying to do something with myself before all four children wake up, getting the kids up, preparing breakfast, getting everyone dressed and out the door by 7:45, running errands, morning nap for the youngest, laundry, lunch, cleaning, picking up the boys from school, assisting with homework for the boys, trying to help son #2 learn to read, taking everyone to baseball practice, running home to get dinner made and on the table, washing dishes, helping kids get ready for bed, and the list goes on and on...

i am not trying to complain, but to explain how i feel like there really isn't any room for anything else.  do any of you mommas feel the same?  by the time the children are in bed at night i'm exhausted and don't feel like doing much, and frankly the day is pretty much over, so what am i going to do anyway?

how in the world can i start something new and fit it into my daily life?  sure, i can wake up at 4 in the morning to workout, i guess i really could, but i guess i just don't really want to.  maybe that's when people do those sorts of things.  or sure, i'd like to have an afternoon of doing something else, something different, something not in my normal routine.  sure, i'd love to go to the doctors office with just one child, the one who is seeing the doctor so i can actually focus on what is going on there and what the doctor is saying. 

clearly i am living up to the title of this blog and just plain rambling.  i don't often don't say these things aloud, so maybe i just wanted to get that off my chest.  i also know that i am not the only momma out there who feels like this, who thinks like this.  i also know that someday when i have the freedom to do all of these other things i am going to miss these days of not really being able to these other things.  you know what i mean?

what's going on here

it has been a while since i posted last, so let me update y'all on what's been going on around here...

my last post was filled with meals that i made from Pinterest.  well, i'm keeping up with making more Pinterest found meals.  i'm going to share just one with you today.  this is an extremely easy and oh-so-good recipe that my kids really like and my husband loved.  it also helps that it's served over white rice, which is a comfort food for my husband who grew up on rice.  so yes, i will be making this one again.  and it might just find itself being made quite often right now because our oldest, Tanner is playing baseball this season.  if you aren't into baseball at your house, it means three times a week that we are out of the house for baseball, two of which we get home right at dinner time.  so, my crock pot has been going quite a lot lately.  i'm so very thankful for that thing, really i am!  if you don't have one, please go get one, they are a lifesaver sometimes, really they are!

here is what i made: Creamy Crockpot Chicken and Broccoli Over Rice.  let me just say that i know the photo that goes along with this recipe isn't all that appealing, but i promise the recipe is a good one!

as i mentioned above, Tanner is playing baseball.  this sport really keeps me busy during the week, but our son loves it and we are so happy to see him enjoying something that he loves.  i will definitely post pictures after the season starts!

over the weekend my wonderful husband took the older three kids on a one-night camping trip to the high desert with a few friends.  can i just say that he is the best?!  the kids loved it.  dirt, rocks...what could be better?!  while they were gone i had my "kick-off" party here at my house for the new little hobby that i am doing.  if you don't know what i am talking about and you are interested in finding out, please ask!  a few dear friends and my mom showed up, i am so thankful for them!

and then here we are and it's already thursday!  i missed real life wednesday, again...such is life i guess, sorry about that!  one real life moment from today though...i made a second pot of coffee today, sometimes you just need to!

one more thing that i would like to share is a link to a blog that i really do enjoy following, finding joy.  today's post is a good one to read as a parent, not just to try and instill these things in my children, but really for myself as well.  if you read it i hope that it is a blessing to you!

i will end with a picture of my beautiful daughter that i took this morning.  oh how i am blessed to be here momma!

real life wednesday

here we are, another wednesday is upon us.  well, actually it's almost done with here in this corner of the world.

here are my real life wednesday topics today:

it was a big day in our house today, and i really do mean big, as in bbbbiiiigggg!  our three year old has been the hardest one to potty train so far, but today we had a break through...she finally went number two on the potty!  i was so excited, i really started to think that this day wasn't going to come!  yippee!!  now here's to hoping and praying that she keeps it up for good!

our oldest son had his first baseball practice of the season today, exciting stuff!  i found myself there at the field with all the kids, trying to watch Tanner practice with his team, keeping an eye on Jason and Laine as they ran around and played, and held Averie most of the time because it was cold out.  as i looked around i noticed that most of the parents had only their one child who was practicing or maybe one other child with them, and they were able to keep their attention on their child practicing, while my mind and eyes were going wild trying to keep up with everything that was going on with my bunch.  it's times like those that i tend to feel a little out of place, like the odd duck, because lets face it, who has four children these days?!  even though i know many families with four children, i often find myself in situations where i feel like we stand out like a sore thumb.  the kids all did great though (thankfully) and everyone had a great time.  Tanner is on the Tigers...go Tigers!  also, many dads were there...how does that happen at 4:30 in the afternoon on a wednesday?!  i know not everyone has my husbands work schedule, but i am often baffled at the amount of dads who can make afternoon practices.  with all of that said, i'm glad Tanner is back in baseball this year after playing for a couple years.  he really does love it and he is also good at it.  i can't wait to see how much he grows in the sport this season!

i'm trying some new recipes this week, all from Pinterest!  i kept pinning all of these pins and not doing anything with them, so I decided I'd at least start with the foods ones since we have to eat anyways.  For dinner I made crockpot mac n cheese, then after everyone went to bed i made carrot and zucchini bars, yum!  both turned out pretty good and i would recommend the recipe!

well, it is late and i am tired.  hoping your wednesday was a good one!

moms need to be flexible

the title of this post...nothing new, right?  as moms we know this and we are reminded of it more often than we realize probably. 

my monday was going great.  dropped the boys back off at school in the morning, the girls and i did the grocery and household shopping, washed a few loads of laundry, etc.  then i call our doctors office to get an appointment for my son sometime this week, in hopes that there was an opening either with our primary doctor or his pa, hoping to avoid the after hours urgent care...really trying to avoid the after hours urgent care with all four children right at dinner time really.  anyways, the pa had an appointment at 9:50, perfect.  perfect, until i realized that was when i have my once-a-week women's small group bible study. 

{insert flexibility here}

 i was envisioning a tuesday morning going something like this.  getting everyone up, everyone ready for school and the day, dropping the boys off, driving over to church with the girls, enjoying the short time with the ladies in my small group, coming home for lunch, playing with the girls, picking up the boys, and so on.  well that 9:50 appointment fell right in the middle of my bible study, there goes the tuesday i had envisioned.

i am not at all complaining, but just reiterating that fact that as moms we have to adjust to what our day hold, right?  sometimes they go as we planned, or darn near close.  then other days they don't.  so off we went to school this morning for one son, then to the doctors, then back to school to drop off son number two who had the appointment, then off to the pharmacy for antibiotics.  the rest of the afternoon has been pretty much routine.

there have been plenty of days when i would have gotten all upset about having to detour from the "plans" that i had set out.  wow, that sounds bad after writing just above here that moms need to be flexible.  maybe i'm slowly getting better at this mom thing, four children later.

i'm sure everyone can relate to this post.  just thought that it was a great reminder today of the constant reality that we face as we care for our children.

here is our Jason.  the end result of our appointment today was double ear infections and probably a sinus infection. 

today i am thankful for medical insurance, doctors that i trust, antibiotics for my little guy, and just for this precious son of mine.  he has a heart of gold, he loves people, always smiles, wants to constantly have fun {i'm hoping some of that rubs off on me}.

the end of 2012

well, here we are at the end of another year.  i'm not much for new years resolutions or anything like that, and maybe that's because i'm horrible at actually sticking to them...but at the end of this year i do feel the need to look back at the things that the Lord has blessed my family and i with in 2012.  i'm not going to list them here, but i'm just saying that in my opinion it's good to look back and think about ways in which we have been blessed.

 

"how can i repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?" -psalm 116:12

 

this year in particular has probably been the hardest year of my life so far.  we were blessed with child number four back in january, and it really does seem like from the day we brought her home that our lives have been forever changed.  changed in many more good ways than we will ever know, but at the same time changed in ways that have been so hard.  it's hard for me to even put into words most of the time.  the best way i can explain it is that this year has just been hard.

 

in the midst of this past year we have also received many more blessings than i will ever know.  the Lord has been good to us and especially to me.  seeing me through day after day after day of feeling like i just can't do this, and to be honest, feeling like i just plain don't want to do this. 

 

i am looking to this new year as just that, a new year.  the baby is almost a year old, not as fussy and not as needy (although there hasn't been one night, not one, where she isn't crying as i get her dressed and ready for bed at night).  the boys don't need as much physically from me anymore.  number three is hopefully going to potty train soon.  and i won't need to buy formula or wash bottles anymore pretty soon as well.  those things may seem small, but to me things are looking up in many tangible ways.  maybe you have some small ways that things are looking up for you this next year.  if so, i'd love to hear about them.  i do believe that seeing the blessings in the small things can help with how you go about your day.  really, it's not always easy, but it is helpful.

 

"how can i repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?" -psalm 116:12

 

the verse above has been in my mind this week after i received it in an email.  the Lord has been good to me, to my family.  i will never know to what extent, because in reality His goodness is unfathomable to humans, but i do know that His goodness overflows.

 

so, as i look at the picture below of Miss L, our number three, i can't help but smile.  i also wish that i could bottle up that happiness that exudes from her daily.  oh to be a child again.  this year i want to be a happier wife and a happier momma to those four precious ones that i care for daily.  i don't want to get in the poor me rut.  i want to seek out the daily joy in this house that we call home.

 

happy new year.

 

 

real life wednesday

maybe {real life wednesday} will become a weekly thing here on this new blog of mine...hmm.

anyways, here it goes.  seems to me that i already feel behind the minute i wake up.  does anyone else out there suffer from this, it must be some kind of momma condition or something.  i go to bed thinking of things that i didn't get done today and will need to try to get done the next day, only to lay right back down in bed that very next evening with another list of many things i didn't do in addition to the other things that i didn't do from the day before.  really, is this how it's going to be from here on out?

i have these ideas of how i'd like the day to go, and before you know it it's 2:45 in the afternoon, the school bell is ringing, we wizz home to do homework, maybe a bit of cleaning, dinner prep going on, i'm sure i need to unload the dishwasher again, etc, etc, etc...

often times i have so many things on my "to do" list that i end up not doing any of those things, but find other things to do.  anyone else do that?  i'm sure there some kind of term for that, maybe i'll look into what that is called.  well, i have been able to get a few things done that i wanted/needed to do.  i also enjoyed putting the "to do" list aside yesterday afternoon and putting this Christmas lights on the tree, so that tonight we can hopefully decorate it as a family after dinner.  the kids wanted to decorate last night, but my husband couldn't get home in time.  he usually does the lights, so i thought that i'd surprise him and do them myself.  i really didn't do as good of a job as he does, but it still looks pretty and i loved to see all four kids reactions.  the boys were able to help and when the girls woke up from their naps they were happily surprised.  so, tonight we decorate the tree.  before that i'm going to attempt to make a huge bow for the top of the tree, hello youtube!  the three older kids are going to make an ornament while dinner to cooking.  i'm getting excited just thinking about the rest of the afternoon.

i'm not sure if this post qualifies as anything other than a bunch of ramblings, but i guess it feels good to write this stuff down sometimes.  and really, i'd love to hear from any of you readers out there who feel the same way or have something funny to tell me about your week.  sometimes a girl just needs to laugh!

and who knows, maybe there will be a few pictures to follow this post tomorrow!

pushing buttons & pouring soap

the title of this post pretty much sums up how the week has been going.  i'm sure that i've accomplished many other things, but today is friday, and i find myself feeling like that is all i have done, push the buttons on the washing machine and added some soap.

i look around the house on this gloomy friday and see a ton of things that i should be doing, but not feeling that i really want to do any of them.  bathrooms need to be cleaned, dishwasher needs to be unloaded and loaded back up again, dust is multiplying before my eyes, floors need mopping or at least sweeping, and the list just goes on...

do you ever have days or even weeks like this?  seems like i have been feeling this way all week long.  little A has been sick since sunday and not really getting any better, so a trip to urgent care with all four children in tow will be happening later this afternoon/evening.  there is a womens event tonight at church that i would love to attend, but i don't really see that happening.  my hard-working husband has worked so much this week that i'm not sure if we've said more that 10 words to each other each day.  i'm not complaining about the job, but i don't really like weeks when the deadlines just keep coming and he doesn't really have a choice.  all we've really done this week is a target run and getting the boys to and from school.

it seems like weeks such as these have me feeling a bit down.  wondering what in world i am doing, and if anything i am doing really matters at all.  if often seems like i look around and everyone else is doing something, like they all have their thing, even the moms with young ones.  then i look at myself and think hmm, what's my thing, i don't have a thing, why can't i just have my thing that i do? do you understand what i'm saying?  deep down i know that my role as wife and momma to these four precious children of mine is important, but i think that we all have times when we feel like this.

well, the sick one is waking up from a nap, so i must go.  hoping to get something done today, one of things that i listed above, something other than pushing buttons and pouring soap, really i am.  but, i guess if all i did this week was push buttons and pour soap, at least we have clean clothes to wear.