the end of 2012

well, here we are at the end of another year.  i'm not much for new years resolutions or anything like that, and maybe that's because i'm horrible at actually sticking to them...but at the end of this year i do feel the need to look back at the things that the Lord has blessed my family and i with in 2012.  i'm not going to list them here, but i'm just saying that in my opinion it's good to look back and think about ways in which we have been blessed.

 

"how can i repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?" -psalm 116:12

 

this year in particular has probably been the hardest year of my life so far.  we were blessed with child number four back in january, and it really does seem like from the day we brought her home that our lives have been forever changed.  changed in many more good ways than we will ever know, but at the same time changed in ways that have been so hard.  it's hard for me to even put into words most of the time.  the best way i can explain it is that this year has just been hard.

 

in the midst of this past year we have also received many more blessings than i will ever know.  the Lord has been good to us and especially to me.  seeing me through day after day after day of feeling like i just can't do this, and to be honest, feeling like i just plain don't want to do this. 

 

i am looking to this new year as just that, a new year.  the baby is almost a year old, not as fussy and not as needy (although there hasn't been one night, not one, where she isn't crying as i get her dressed and ready for bed at night).  the boys don't need as much physically from me anymore.  number three is hopefully going to potty train soon.  and i won't need to buy formula or wash bottles anymore pretty soon as well.  those things may seem small, but to me things are looking up in many tangible ways.  maybe you have some small ways that things are looking up for you this next year.  if so, i'd love to hear about them.  i do believe that seeing the blessings in the small things can help with how you go about your day.  really, it's not always easy, but it is helpful.

 

"how can i repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?" -psalm 116:12

 

the verse above has been in my mind this week after i received it in an email.  the Lord has been good to me, to my family.  i will never know to what extent, because in reality His goodness is unfathomable to humans, but i do know that His goodness overflows.

 

so, as i look at the picture below of Miss L, our number three, i can't help but smile.  i also wish that i could bottle up that happiness that exudes from her daily.  oh to be a child again.  this year i want to be a happier wife and a happier momma to those four precious ones that i care for daily.  i don't want to get in the poor me rut.  i want to seek out the daily joy in this house that we call home.

 

happy new year.